Sitting in my car with tears running down my cheeks, smelling like cigarettes, listening to modest mouse. Not the night I was planning.

i couldnt tell you why this is back. why every night i just feel empty. shaky  light. i just hate this and it doesnt help anything. 

my happiness found in two places. one on rainy days in cities sitting in a cafe watching as strangers pass by me, invisible, how their lives continue on and we never know what happens to them after that first glimpse of them rushing down the sidewalk with a newspaper on their head. and two in a man of six feet, with brown eyes that are so deep they never end, with dark hair, strong arms that wrap around me and never let go and who’s lips linger on mine after every kiss.